I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
