I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
