So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
