Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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