walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
