forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Did I show you my penis last night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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