if i can run in heels then i can drive
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
