just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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