Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
