He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Holy shit dude........stairs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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