He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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