i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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