i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
