Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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