I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
