lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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