About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
