I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
