Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize