I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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