The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They are going to name an STD after you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
