I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
