i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
