Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize