Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
