Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We need a shit load of segways right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
