at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize