Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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