these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
