im about as happy as oj after his trial
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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