roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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