im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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