My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
