We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
