Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
