My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
