Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
