1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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