She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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