No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I lost the right to judge tonight
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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