I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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