OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
