yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No stitches, just platelets and will power
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
A+ Viking dick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
