11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
