i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
These tits shall not be calmed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
