I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize