Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
