but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
