I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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