Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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