ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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