Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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