i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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