i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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