She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
