Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize