____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
