I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
