Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
