apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's blow job season.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
