i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
