I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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