Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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