apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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