I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
