Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
